Okay so all the focus that's been put on the election and voting and all that other stuff, it totally took my mind off something that's almost just as important to me.....something that I've been counting the days till just as much as election day. Actually, this kind of seemed a little bit more important. I mean sure the president is important or whatever, but is one little vote going to change the whole election? Don't get me wrong, I did vote today and I'm glad I did.....but I'm just saying.

Anyway, as of today it's been 4 super long months since the last time I've scratched and/or cut and it feels good to say that.....especially since I wasn't even able to make it longer than two weeks sometimes. Now this doesn't mean I don't think about it--because I do.....a lot. And there are those times when I just feel super numb or mad or disappointed and I want to cave under the pressure, but surprisingly I haven't. Sure, I've written a whole bunch of random rants and poems and blah blah blah and I've gone through quite a bit of rubber bands.....but that's better than going through packs of band aids right?

Before this new school year started I was actually terrified of going back--not because I wan't ready, but because I was afraid I'd start everything all over again....especially since I'm really unhappy with where I am. I mean yea I know I'm blessed to even be able to go to school since some people would love to get an education.....but I never wanted to go to the school I'm at and it kind of feels like I'm here against my will.

Okay you know what, I feel like I'm just rambling so I'm gonna stop now.