...and it's not good to keep holding stuff in. I have to put this somewhere, and it can't go on Tumblr.

I hate that we never talk anymore. All you do is talk to him...who a lot of people don't really like that you go out with. It's like how you said you feel about Sel and Nick. I love you both...but just not together. I think things just went a little too fast.

Whenever someone came to me about you two I always stuck up for you and always told them that nothing serious was going to happen...because that's what you kept telling me. I mean you could have said something. Anything. You could have said that things were starting to get serious. You could have said you were thinking about making things official. There were SO many opportunities because SO many people asked me about yall, and I told you about it every single time. And your response was always the same. "It's just a crush. Nothing's going to happen. People need to get over it and leave us alone."

Oh? Well it seems like things have happened. And they've happened quite rapidly. We're supposed to be "biffles." Meaning we tell each other stuff that's important. Like you know...this. So how was I supposed to feel when I find out from him that you've decided to make things official. Especially at the oh-so-perfect timing of when you couldn't tell me yourself? Things like this can't just happen automatically, so you had to have some kind of feeling that it was going to happen. I wish you would have just told me. Given me a heads up so it wouldn't have come as such a shock. Because now, I don't know how I feel.

Now, I get kind of annoyed every time I see yet another tweet or status update having to do with you guys. I actually unfollowed him. I still love him and everything, but just...no. It's like you're ALWAYS talking to each other. I get it. It's a new, long distance relationship. Cool. Whatever. But I mean...you can reply to texts from other people too you know? It's not gonna hurt you or take anymore time away from your precious other half. When people ask me about you now and stuff, it's hard for me to reply to them with a smile. Every time they bring you two up it's obvious that I'm not cool with it.

If you can't see that something obviously isn't right then I don't know how to help you. I mean other people have noticed. Everything just seems awkward now, and I don't like it. I told you like a week ago that I needed to talk to you, but you were busy talking to him so it had to wait. A week. And you haven't asked me about it again. Something is very wrong with this picture. I've talked to friends I met ONLINE more than I've talked to you. Your FAMILY members more than I've talked to you. That's kind of a red flag right there don't you think?

Whatevs. I'm just gonna hope that this is some kind of phase and it'll go away quickly because I hope we don't start drifting apart. I kind of need you and stuff.